I have just returned from Berkeley, CA where I was able to attend the 4 day Adoptee retreat, Beyond Adoption: You
I wish I could tell you all about it, but I can’t. What I have just experienced is so sacred, so special, and so meaningful, that I do not feel I can publically share all that I was able to feel and heal. But trust me, the word TRANSFORMATIVE does not do justice to what I have experienced.
What I CAN and WILL say is this: being with a group of 10 other adopted people and 2 adopted facilitators was the most transformative experience of my adopted life. I was able to access more healing and more understanding of self this weekend than I have for the past year in therapy. This is not to say my therapist is not good, because she is so great for me, but I was able to speak and be heard by MY TRIBE – Adopted People. I was, at times, shocked to learn that they all walk around planet earth with the same stuff and experiences as I do. We respond the same. We worry the same. We feel so much of the same things. We have ALL experienced loss. We just GET each other.
What I felt: loved, honored, accepted, held, understood, listened to, SEEN, normal, togetherness, ZERO loneliness, heard, and I was able to be my TRUE OUT AND OPEN SELF. And, I did not feel WEIRD or DIFFERENT or ODD or like an ALIEN; not even for a second. Pure authenticity.
What I did: listened, hugged, wrote a lot, cried a lot, made life long REAL friends who will never leave and who will always have my back. And, I will never leave them, and I will have their backs, too. And LAUGHED with abandon and with freedom.
Oh, and we ate at a world renowned, hard to get into restaurant WITHOUT a reservation. SO THERE! Chez Panisse THAT is the true power of the adopted tribe
What I learned: How to cross over my life’s bridge from Shame to Acceptance. I learned about laughing Yoga. I learned that I do not need to eat and self sooth with food. I learned that I can fill that large, empty place with my truth and not with Pringles. How to get our of my HEAD (default) and into my HEART (Direct) I learned that other people think I draw pretty well. I learned that I am likeable and loveable.
What I am going to do now: Not take any fucking bullshit from anyone. Own my adopted truth. Help my brain grooves find the right pathways to keep healing. Stop telling myself that I am “less,” stop acting small and embrace being BIGGER that life itself. Stay in touch with the 11 people I shared a room with so that I can remember who I am and help them remember, too. I am going to STOP looking for a solution to heal, I am going to look for experiences to prompt healing. I am going to carry an 8 Ball (Hachiko) around with pride and a bulge in my pocket, it is my 8 ball, and I love it!! And, I am going to ALWAYS hold on to hand rails on stairs.
Sign up. There will be another one April 26 – 29, 2018 in a Magical House in Berkeley, CA
Hey….are you still reading this? Click on the link and get in before it is full!!
ALL MY LOVE TO MY TRIBE!
Some Favorite Quotes:
“Don’t stand in traffic until you build a bridge” Pamela Cordano, MFT
“Our Jobs are to be 100% ourselves” – Anne Heffron
“They know all my dark and accepted it as light.” Janet Nordine, LMFT
View from the Magical Berkeley House