“I never thought you would find me.”

On February 1, 2017, about 10 pm, my cousin (who I had just “met” on Face book messenger an hour before) typed a phone number and my birth mother’s name and said, “Here is her number, she is waiting for our call.”

I looked at my husband and son who were in the room, and asked, “What do I do?!”  My husband, in his wisdom, said, “Call.”  One word that would change the trajectory of all I had known my entire life until this point.

What would I learn?  How would she receive me?  What would she say?  What would I say?  Would I recognize her voice from my 9 months in the womb?  Would I even be able to speak? Would she all I had ever hoped and fantasized about my entire life?

I was about to find out!

I dialed the phone.  Picked up on the 1st ring.  I said, “hello, this is Janet”  She said, “hello this is Barb.”   And there we were, two women, on the phone, talking.

She said, “I never thought you would find me.”  The first sentence from my birth mother was one I did not expect.

I said, “I never thought I would either.”

I explained how I had been looking for 25 years for her.  How I did a DNA test.  How I matched with a cousin.  How I was so happy to finally talk to her.

She then started to give me facts.

That she was living in Las Vegas.  How her boys had been put in foster care.  How she couldn’t keep me.  How she wanted me to have a family.  She told me my birth father’s name and told me “he was tall.”

Then she dropped a bombshell.

“There are 5 boys before you and 3 boys and a girl after you.”

A GIRL!!??  More boys.  I never could have imagined this in my whole life.  It never crossed my mind that she would have had MORE kids after me!

As my brain tried to do math, I realized, SHE HAD 10 CHILDREN….!   I suddenly had 9 siblings.

She gave me a run down of their names, and some brief info.  The oldest is here, the second one has died, the third one may still be in Vegas working, the 4th and 5th she was not sure about.  Then me…. Then one other boy with the man she met and married after I was born.

Then my sister, who….get this…..had also been placed for adoption! (In Texas)  She gave me her name, and told me how they had met about 20 years ago, but she had lost track of her. I immediately plugged her name into Facebook and found her in about 30 seconds.  (I did not say anything to my birth mother, but was waving my arms at my husband to come to the computer to LOOK!)

Then, there were, finally, as set of twin boys.  Holy cow.

I grew up with one adopted brother who had passed away in 2000, so this was uncharted sibling territory for me.

We then talked about my life, what I did for a living, my education, my family.  I could not believe that I was actually SPEAKING to the woman who gave me LIFE!  It was the most surreal moment in my life.

We exchanged pleasantries, I thanked her, (I may have gushed) and we hung up the phone.

I then set out to write my SISTER a message.

Holy moly – I have a SISTER!  My dream had come true.





3 thoughts on ““I never thought you would find me.”

Add yours

  1. I’m so happy for you ! Thrilled about your Sister and your Moms openness and you finally finding your family. Your open heart and abundant love inspires me. I wish you all the love I can as you start this new part of your journey. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Finding Me Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Robyn Gobbel, LCSW

Parenting. Adoption. And Adoptive Parenting.

Adopted Jem's Gems: An adoptee's journey of survival and healing

An adoptee's thoughts and feelings on adoption through poetry, personal stories, and other writings


travel + culture writer

Write or Die

It's time.

Healing Hands Farm

Adoption and Reactive Attachment Disorder

step into bravery

a story of acceptance, growth, and embracing bravery

Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog

Adoption Through the Eyes of Adopted and Foster Kids

Bleeding Hearts

Uprooted and transplanted. Digging deeper into adoption from the perspective of an adoptee/first mother.

Pamela Karanova

Finding Purpose in the Pain - One Adoptee's Journey from Heartbreak to Hope & Healing


A Place the Soul Can Confront, Reflect and Embrace all that they are.

Courage is the Ability to Walk Through Fear with Faith


A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

%d bloggers like this: