My Adoption Fog has Ended

January 31, 2017 I was still “in the fog,” as those who are adopted say. Being in the fog for me meant that I 1) recognized I was adopted and 2) I didn’t spend too much time on that topic. Truth be told, I was in denial about how MUCH time I spent thinking about that topic, and I just did not, could not, would not recognize how much BEING an adopted person affected every aspect of my life. I needed the Dr Seuss book of adopted culture to wake me up.

This is a video I took in Garabaldi, OR. It was fog rolling UP the side of a mountain from the ocean. I had never seen such a thing. I imagine this is what Adoption Fog looks like…rolling up the hill….going down the street. This was my brain..and the fog was leaving.

January 31, 2017 I did not know my story. I did not know who I came from. I did not know how my life came to be. I did not know any facts. I did not know “my people.” I did not know more than what Catholic Charities offered on a 3 page document about my life. And, I wanted to know.

January 31, 2017 I had sent in a DNA test to and had my results for several months, I had some DNA matches and I messaged a few of the names associated with these results without any luck. I was checking often, but not hoping for much.

January 31, 2017 was a Tuesday. I had a Church meeting. I probably at eggs and toast fixed by my husband as that is what Tuesdays looked like back then.

January 31, 2017 was a day like any other day back in the day.

Normal. Everyday. Life.

Then, this message came – (I did a virtual redaction as I want to not share names)

hi janet I am XXX, we are doing this thru my cousin XXXs account. XXX is my cousin from my dads side you are from my mom’s. (insert birth mother’s name) is my moms sister. we did live in las vegas during that time frame, I was born in 61 so I remember kindergarten and first grade in las vegas but not much else. Birth Mother did loose her sons back then and I didn’t know about you. her sons are son 1, son 2, son 3, son 4 and son 5 in that order. they all have the same last name XXX.
Son 1 lives in Nebraska, Son 2 is no longer with us. Son 3 is retired in las vegas, Son 4 last I heard was in texas and I have no clue about Son 5. You may possibly be able to search “for the first 3” on facebook, good luck.
there is much more we can chat about later, for now it is nice to meet you. I hope that you grew up happy and healthy and that right now you have a great life. XXXX cousin’s name

If would be a few more days before I heard more or spoke to anyone in my first family. They were a long few days of hoping for more.

In the instant of this message, the fog suddenly was GONE and I was left with millions of questions, hopes, dreams, anxiety, and a deep desire to know every detail.

Little did I know that knowing every detail would forever change my life and my soul.

In life, I have learned…..

careful.jpg Stay tuned. More to come. Much more.

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Robyn Gobbel, LCSW

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