2018 Focus Word – ACCEPTANCE

Several years ago, my friend Keri suggested the idea of a ‘focus word’ for the new year.  I loved the idea, and started choosing words for myself.

2017’s word was STRIVE.  I chose that word to remind me to strive for more, to reach higher to be better and to strive to be more whole.  I actually wrote ‘more whole’ in my notes about this word.   Little did I know that in February 2017, I would know my WHOLE beginning story and a WHOLE lot more amazing people would be part of my life.  It was a WHOLE lot of a year!  (yes, I used the WHOLE spelling on purpose).

It is amazing what adoption reunion brought into my life ~ the good, the amazing, the unbelievable, the grief, the loss and the acceptance and rejection.   All of it became part of my whole heart.  I have had time to reflect and to settle into all the information that I have about my beginnings and my biological family.

This settling has brought me to choose the word ACCEPTANCE as my 2018 focus word.

Acceptance does not mean, roll over, lie down, give permission, compliance or to settle.

To me, Acceptance means to fully accept parts of life that I can not change.


Additionally, Keri shared the following quote with me today;

“I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that – I don’t mind people being happy – but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying “write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep”, and “cheer up” and “happiness is our birthright” and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position – it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say “Quick! Move on! Cheer up!” I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word “happiness” and to replace it with the word “wholeness”. Ask yourself “is this contributing to my wholeness?” and if you’re having a bad day, it is.”

― Hugh Mackay

When I read this today, I KNEW that Acceptance was the word for me to focus on.  I spent so much of 2017 feeling overwhelmed, full of grief, sad, confused and at other times, thrilled, delighted, amazed.   There even was times of happiness. But, I kept thinking, “I SHOULD be happy.  I SHOULD be able to pull out of this depression.  I SHOULD get over this whole rejection thing”

I was SHOULDING all over myself.


I love that by accepting all that comes my way in 2018, by not saying “I should be happy” and having an altruistic expectation for myself will actually allow me to accept and become more whole.

What is your word for 2018?  I would love to read your comments and thoughts.

And, I promise to accept you right where you are, who you are and to accept your brokenness.  I accept my own.

#adoption  #LDS  #acceptance

One thought on “2018 Focus Word – ACCEPTANCE

Add yours

  1. Hello Janet. I just read your post. Although you do not go into much detail about what you are going through, I can tell that there is something there. Whatever it is, before you accept the situation, take the issues to God in prayer. God might have big plans for you. I suggest you pray over it fervently and let God do the rest. If you need any information on this process, let me know. God bless, and have a great day ahead 🙂


Leave a Reply to christcenteredruminations Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Robyn Gobbel, LCSW

Parenting. Adoption. And Adoptive Parenting.

Adopted Jem's Gems: An adoptee's journey of survival and healing

An adoptee's thoughts and feelings on adoption through poetry, personal stories, and other writings


travel + culture writer

Write or Die

It's time.

Healing Hands Farm

Adoption and Reactive Attachment Disorder

step into bravery

a story of acceptance, growth, and embracing bravery

Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog

Adoption Through the Eyes of Adopted and Foster Kids

Bleeding Hearts

Uprooted and transplanted. Digging deeper into adoption from the perspective of an adoptee/first mother.

Pamela Karanova

Finding Purpose in the Pain - One Adoptee's Journey from Heartbreak to Hope & Healing


A Place the Soul Can Confront, Reflect and Embrace all that they are.

Courage is the Ability to Walk Through Fear with Faith


A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

%d bloggers like this: