2017 ~ Reflections on Reunion and Adjustment

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This morning, Facebook shared my memories from today with me.  As is my normal routine, I like to look at what I was doing a year or more ago.  What food I ate ( I am THAT person that posts food on FB ), who I spent time with, and things that my brain was thinking.

This is what I wrote on NYE 2016 as we were heading into 2017, “Happy New Year! (Can we go to sleep now?) May 2017 be full of JOY and goodness. ”

Little did I know, 1 month and 2 days from this writing, I would find my birth family.

In August 2015 I purchased a DNA Test via Groupon for Ancestry.com.   I FINALLY sent it in for testing in August of 2016 after it stared at me for A FULL YEAR. (why did I wait so long?)

In October 2016, I received my results.

I remember sitting and staring at my computer screen.  I remember being so excited that my ethnicity break down showed I WAS Irish, as I had always thought and told people.  Then, I stopped short when I looked and SAW for the first time in my entire life, I had DNA matches and there were other people walking around the planet to which I was related!  I was flabbergasted and taken aback.  What did this mean?  Could it be?

I let this info sit for a few weeks.  I received a message from a distant cousin on October 27 and she peaked my curiosity. So, I decided to message a few other people on this list to inquire about my birth family.  The distant cousin and I could not pinpoint how we might be related, as I am adopted and the cousin had no idea, so we let it go.

I began to message others who Ancestry said were ‘close relatives.’   I did not hear from anyone….and I began to get discouraged.  So, as many adoptees will do, I decided to just not think about it and live my life.  Funny how that happens and how the Universe has other plans for you.

February 2, 2017 – I was leaving work, 7pm, it was dark, I was tired.  I was waiting for my co-workers to gather near the alarm so we could set it and go home.  I looked at my email on my phone, and there it was; the message that changed my life, “hi janet I am steve, we are doing this thru my cousin Betsy’s account. betsy is my cousin from my dads side you are from my mom’s. ”    He went on to confirm my bmother’s name, my 5 older brother’s first and last names, and that he hoped I grew up happy and healthy.

I remember immediately sitting down.  My colleague said, “What is wrong?” As I must have looked like I saw a ghost.  I handed her my phone and she read Steve’s message and asked, “What are you going to do?”  I remember saying, “Go home and find my birth family,” as if I was going to make a stop at the store and get milk….. no big deal, just look for my roots, look for my story and maybe grab a loaf of bread, too.

Those 8 minutes from my office to home seemed to take for-ev-er!

I sat down at my computer and I beganto message with Steve and Wanda, my 1st cousins. Wanda was very open and kind.  She said she knew my bmother, she was still alive and after some time messaging back and forth, she wrote, “here is her phone number, she is waiting for your call.”  I looked at my husband and son, and said, “What do I do?”  My husband in all his wisdom said, “You call her.”

By the end of that night, February 2, 2017, I had spoken to my birth mother on the phone.

She shared health facts.  She shared my bfather’s name.  She shared some info about her time living in Las Vegas.  She was nice and very matter of fact. She said I was #6 of 10 children.  I could not even believe this was happening.  I scribbled notes down on a random envelope in front of me.  This is my life and all I could find to write on was an ENVELOPE?

But, the most amazing part, my birth mother dropped a bombshell on me – “You have a sister. I put her up for adoption.  I met her about 20 year ago.  He name is Sarah and she lives in Texas.”

As I was on the phone with my bmother, I began to look for Sarah on Facebook.  I found her immediately, and knew it was her as we look alike.  I was over the moon elated as I had always, every day of my life, wanted a sister. And now, I had one.  A sister.  A miracle.

While I will end this part of my journey here, I want to say something about timing.

I am a woman of deep faith in God.  This past year, 2017, I had to figure out how to have increased faith in His timing in my life.   I am still working on this type of faith.

2017 was one for the ages.  I may have gained a few gray hairs.  I have gained incredible siblings, amazing cousins, a birth mother who I have met and who hugged me back, and a sure knowledge of who I am, where I came from and how I came to be.  I have had to adjust to my new self.  It has been, well, an adjustment! I have a physical ache from the mental, emotional and spiritual shifting that I have done this year.

2018 holds new adventures and goals.  Stay tuned, blog readers, I have lots to share and you are all part of my journey.

Thank you for your support!  Now, off to breakfast…..I have biscuits and gravy to enjoy.

3 thoughts on “2017 ~ Reflections on Reunion and Adjustment

Add yours

  1. I really enjoyed reading this especially the “envelope” comment. I am almost 2 years into reunion with bio mom and family. Raw feelings are as strong today as day one. I can’t get enough of any of it nor any of them.

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  2. Yes Peggy. For me it was at least 5 years into it before I could grasp my feelings with any clarity. I’m now 15 years in reunion with 2 brothers and 2 sisters. My birth Mom and Dad are gone but I knew my mother for 7 years. Lost her 9 years ago. Would love to hear more of your story. Never tire of it all, each story is such a miracle, and such a struggle. I called it The Agony and the Ecstasy. Hang in there….. tough duty…..

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